• Victoria Levens posted an update in the group Group logo of StoriesStories 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    So 2 months after we got married I ended up in hospital last August, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called ITP. I was put on steroids and cemo drugs to try and stop the internal bleeding. I was let out if hospital feeling very sick and low. It got to Christmas time and for once I finally started to get excited about something! Then 3 days before Christmas a bomb shell hit me. My husband of 6 months wasn’t so clean after all… he had been lying to me for all this time, he watched it 2 weeks after our f**king honeymoon!!!! I had the worst anxiety attack ever, I streamed at him wanted to kill him and then broke. I cried that whole night thinking of ways to end my life or what I used in our room to cut myself again. That was the worst night of my life, my heart still runs crazy when I think of it! So from there he started to attend SA meetings every Monday and Wednesday that was amazing for 4 months then he struggled again which I could have coped with okay if he has told me but no I had to find out by looking on the internet history that he had been lieing to me again!!!! It was our one year wedding anniversary in June there and he still isn’t “sober” the passed 3/4 weeks have definitely been the hardest. I told him to the Doctors because he is always “tired” turns out the Doctors thinks he has depression and anxiety so me being a good wife I support him but does he stay in his medicine? No he gives up and becomes lazy with everything!! Going to work late, not cleaning up, no sex with me or thank goodness himself. I just don’t know who this person is I’ve married! I read story’s about women who go through this for years I’m sorry but I’m not strong enough to do that! I have my whole life ahead of me, I’m not happy I want out but I don’t! I don’t know how I feel! I’m so worried I’m falling out of love with him because of what he is lieing to me about and how is handling his life!!! I need someone to talk to who understands. It’s 3:35am in the morning and I can’t sleep because we had an agreement about his being selfish with oral sex!! It’s fine for me to do things to him but after it’s over he turns over and sleeps!!!! I am sexually frustrated and we are only married one year! This is awful to say out loud but I think I’m done, this isn’t a married anymore. I will greatly appreciate any and all advice! Thank you for letting me share.

    • I too am new here and one of my fears is do I stay or go? I’ve been through this for 8 years. It’s a tough situation espesially if kids are added to the picture. I dont have any advice just yet but hope someone else does. Good luck and I’ll be thinking happy thoughts for you


I'm not around right now but you can send me an email and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. JoAnn


©2019 JoAnn Russell RN, MS

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