Hello, just found this support, so happy I did! I need to be able to share with people who understand. 4 years post d day (horrific multiple acting out over 8 years of marriage me totally blindsided) anyways lots of therapy and triggers still and here we are, me being sober after so much numbing and drinking to cope, now I’m feeling everything. So today he went for a swim at the gym but oddly comes back with a smoothie, I’m like what (we literally live like 2 min walk) oh he was just really hungry but I know what you’re thinking it wasn’t that “oh what was I thinking was the person working the snack bar a female or male?” Female. Oh and what ethnicity? Asian. What I didn’t say: oh right I’m sure you were just hungry and it’s a huge coincidence a SA person who went to Asian Massage Parlours would randomly get a smoothie from her and have a “interaction” and that my friend who attends the same gym told me other middle aged men were asking this young girl for her number…we are going to a work ball this weekend and I know there are going to be many scantily clad dresses he’s “aware of” trying to prepare myself for the triggers but not sure how, just want to drink there to escape. I’m so tired of being married to someone with such a large monkey brain and seemingly almost non existent pre frontal cortex, thank you for the support!