• Niki posted an update in the group Group logo of Sex AddictionSex Addiction 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    I just left my boyfriend of almost three years last Tuesday after 6 hard months of finding out about his 10 months of porn addiction/ acting out ,our individual theraphy and a sex addict couples therapist. The only reason i stayed to work things through is that he had no good coping habits with grief ever and the loss of his mother from pancreatic cancer the first of this year put him over the edge to escape mentally to where he had no control. He started on a recovery path, but understatrmated the addiction, his ability to lie hiding habits and only telling half truths to keep his double life and to prevent me from leaving. I got to the point i had to follow through with the boundaries i created for myself and accept the fact that without him working on communication, creating boundaries for himself and him not giving 100% open transparency, i was not going to risk my physical health, sanity, or self-respect any longer. It wasnt until i packed up my stuff while he was out and left a letter that i was done did he hit the first stage of rock bottom. He no longer has his best friend, the best thing he said has ever happen to him to go through his recovery journey WITH him. He knows he has to do it ALONE. He ended up after five days of not having any contact to reflect and come to terms with all he has done to him and us, take accountability for everything, fully expose everything and to know it will not bring me back. He wrote me a huge confession letter leaving it secure on my car at work. He has the shame of telling his family,my family who look at him as family, and mutual freinds. As i told him on several occasions, i love him very much, but i love myself more and i have to focus on my well-being . I wish him prayers to find the core of his addictive personality and to deal with that and find healthier means of coping with stress or grief and to be a beeter version of the person i originally fell in love with. My decdion was both the hardest.m yet best decision i made. I cry and grieve of my loss, but i had a relief of never having to police his activities or feel that i had to compete with his activities. I have slept more in two weeks than i have in 6 months since D Day.


I'm not around right now but you can send me an email and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. JoAnn


©2019 JoAnn Russell RN, MS

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account