• Debbie posted an update in the group Group logo of StoriesStories 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    I have been with my husband for 32 years., since we are 17 and 18 years old. He has always been my world. My husband has ALWAYS doted on me. He has always made me feel special. Some of my friends were envious and wished they received half of the attention from their husband. About a year and a half ago, I came home from the dog park. I went there daily. I walked in the door to find my husband sobbing and vomiting. My 23 year old son is telling me things are bad. I’m like, what the heck is going on? I am completely blindsided by my husband‘s behavior. My son said he was scared because my husband was threatening to commit suicide. I was like, what is going on? My husband just kept repeating I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. It was then that he admitted to me he has a gambling and a drug addiction. When I tell you I had no idea, I had no idea. We were struggling financially, but my husband made such good excuses and there was no reason for me to not trust my husband. We had a very long talk. He was so apologetic. I needed help dealing with this.. I called his best friend because I was scared. My husband was threatening to kill himself. His friend met him and sent him home a few hours later. It was then that he also confessed to having a drug problem. It was Percocet and pot. His falling asleep every time he sat down and the arguments we had about him seeming disinterested in things now made sense. I attributed his sleepiness to his shift work. We had days and days of long talks and decided to work through this. About a month after, my husband confessed to going to massage parlors. He said he had been gone for about 10 years. He also said he was addicted to pornography. He swears he never had sex with these Asian prostitute, but only had happy endings because even in his sick mind, he had limitations. He said he had been gone for about 10 years. He also said he was addicted to pornography. He swears he never had sex with these Asian prostitutes, but only had happy endings because even in his sick mind, he had limitations. I asked him to please move out and live with his parents. We were both devastated. I love this man and had no idea about any of this. It was all surreal. I asked him how much more lies he thought I could do it? I asked him how he could possibly make me feel so special and then do this to me? He swore it had nothing to do with me and that he was a sick person that was an addict. He told me the truth about being molested by man in his life for most of his childhood. Trust me, I know that’s not an excuse but it plays a role. I told him I would not stay with him unless he got help. I didn’t think I would ever let him touch me again. I’m still holding onto the fantasy of the marriage I thought I had and the family we have created together. He told me the truth about being molested by man in his life for most of his childhood. Trust me, I know that’s not an excuse but it plays a role. I told him I would not stay with him unless he got help. I didn’t think I would ever let him touch me again. I’m still holding onto the fantasy of the marriage I thought I had and the family we have created together. He has been a personal therapy, I have been a personal therapy, we have been in marriage counseling and he attends sex addicts anonymous meetings and gamblers anonymous meetings weekly. Through therapy, he knew he had to come clean about everything in order to move forward in his own life. About eight months after learning about happy endings, drug abuse and gambling problems, my husband confessed he was having sex with these teenage Asian prostitutes for about 10 years. Why am I still with this man? I would be the first to judge someone who stayed in the situation. I love him. We have been through so many losses, tragedies, good times and bad times. We have three grown children and a grandchild on the way. Nobody understands my pain. Our therapists all tell us they can see how much we love each other. They think we are worth salvaging. They say if I can learn to truly forgive and my husband continues to get help, we can actually have a healthier marriage. There are days I absolutely hate this man. There are days I am overwhelmed with my love for him. His behaviors have knocked my self-esteem down lower than low. I feel so devalued and that devastate him. He tries so hard every day to make my day easier and to show me how much she loves me. I have made no promises to stay in this marriage. There are days I absolutely hate this man. There are days I am overwhelmed with my love. His behaviors have knocked my self-esteem down lower than low. I feel so devalued and that devastate him. He tries so hard every day to make my day easier and to show me how much she loves me. I have made no promises to stay in this marriage. Our marriage counselor, also a sex addict counselor asked me why I can forgive the gambling addiction, the drug addiction but not the sex addiction? I felt it was obvious, this is personal

    • I have no idea why some of the things I wrote were repeated. I didn’t type, but spoke into my phone. Sorry for the errors, but I think you get what I’m saying

CONTACT JoAnn

I'm not around right now but you can send me an email and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. JoAnn

Sending

©2018 JoAnn Russell RN, MS

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account