Desperate for support

This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  JoAnn 2 weeks, 5 days ago.

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  • #13374

    Hello, not sure if I’m posting in the right place and apologize if not. In the last two weeks I discovered my partner has been engaging in online sex, posting and replying to sex ads, on too many sex hook up sites to count, was trying to arrange to hire 2 prostitutes to share with another man, was applying to be in a porn film and worst of all had been sharing nude photos and video of me with him without my consent. These videos and pictures were ones I only agreed to be taken while we were going through years of fertility battles and he said he needed them to help him. The investigation is still pending but I have been assured charges will be laid. I have kicked him out of our home and am trying to deal with this while caring for my 19month old son. I have a lawyer who is in the process of a separation/custody agreement and am preparing for that fight. I have no family or friends here to help and because I am in a small town the counselor I was given by victim services to see just cancelled my appt yesterday as she is treating my husband. My father and Brother have let me down as they have shamed me for pressing charges and feel it’s my fault for allowing him to take these pictures of me. I really need someone to talk to about this as I am so alone and can’t handle the shame my only support system has shown so far. The only thing keeping me going right now is my son. I had no idea I was living with such a pervert, and am completely blindsided despite what my family may think. I have been with this guy for 12 years, and he was nothing but great to me and our son. I have no desire to rectify the relationship. I am so shattered, lost and hurt. Can anyone here help?

  • #13379

    Oh Penny I am so, so sorry for the situation you are in. Although you feel lost and shattered right now I see immense strength in you. You know that you are better than the deceptive and abusive relationship you are in and you have the courage to stand up for yourself.

    Take care of yourself and go easy on yourself. Do not blame yourself, or allow anyone else to blame you for what you did. Many couples take photos and videos of themselves in intimate situations. You trusted the man you loved and he abused that love and trust. You did nothing wrong.

    What do you need in order to move forward? Maybe make a list of goals and take one…just one, and start to slowly work on that. Are you able to support yourself? Are you thinking of divorce, if you are married?

    Have you watched some of the free Sisterhood videos on youtube? Those might give you some insight. And, I do have the Sisterhood forums for partners of sex addicts. I’ll put those links below.

    Sending you hugs,


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I'm not around right now but you can send me an email and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. JoAnn


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